I
spent this morning like I did so many mornings before high school: watching a
combination of SportsCenter and Saved by the Bell. Unlike those bygone
mornings, by morning today I mean 11:00 o’clock, not 7:00. However, the
combination of terrible one-liners and wretched 80s fashion does just as much
for the soul as it did a decade ago.
I
only have one question: What about that kiss between Zack and Lisa? Whatever
happened after that? I demand an explanation. Maybe you don’t remember this.
Let me quickly bring you up to speed. In the final season—the gang’s senior
year of high school—Zack decides to put on a fashion show to help Lisa get
admitted into fashion school in New York. After days of preparation, Zack and
Lisa kiss at her house. Eventually Screech finds out, sabotages the fashion
show, and challenges Zack to a fight for Lisa’s love.
Zack
and Screech work through their problems when Lisa convinces Screech that she
will never date him—a heartbreaking scene. Zack and Lisa then confess their feelings
for each other and Screech gives the blooming relationship his blessing. After
years of Zack and Kelly, the show was setting up a relationship for viewers in
the final season.
I
have to admit: Zack and Lisa dating intrigues me. Of course, if you’ve seen
every episode two to three times like me, you know the relationship is never
mentioned again. Why?! There was so much potential. I read a number of
explanations online. The two best are that the relationship never happens
because the episode was more about Zack betraying Screech and that the show
explores the ups and downs of a teenager, which involves relationships that
only last a few days; therefore, there was no need to further expand on Zack
and Lisa.
I’m
not buying it, Peter Engel. You owe me an explanation for this one.
Nevertheless,
this isn’t the only relationship involving Zack that disappears without
explanation. Remember Zack and Screech’s cousin? Zack and Stacey from the beach
episodes? Zack and Tori, the biker chick? Zack and the girl in the wheelchair
(I also watched this episode today)? Zack and Mrs. Belding? Oh, made that one
up. And I’m sure I am forgetting a few.
Outside
of Kelly Kapowski, who at one point was the love of every man’s life under the
age of 40 or so, Lisa was my next crush. I never really liked Jessie or Tori.
Stacey from the beach wasn’t bad, except she had a really annoying voice and
mannerisms. This leads me to the rest of the Saved by the Bell girls and off on
a tangent.
One
of my friends vehemently argues that the College Years is superior to the
show’s high school installment. I have mixed emotions about this. Of course, my
friend also has red hair. Never trust someone with red hair. But let’s consider
this by looking at the quality of the female characters, Leslie Burke, Alex
Tabor, and the college Kelly Kapowski.
As
much as I loved Kelly during high school, and as happy as I was to see her on
the College Years at first, I slowly started to loathe her. She just walks back
into Zack’s life and expects him to drop everything for her. I mean, Zack had
just convinced Leslie to trust him enough for a date. Then Kelly ruins
everything. I can’t argue that the writers added depth to Kelly’s character.
Gone was the long-haired, happy-go-lucky high school cheerleader who couldn’t
decide between Zack or Slater. The old Kelly was replaced by a short-haired,
troubled college student who cheats on Zack with her professor. I think I lost
my innocence watching these episodes.
I
can’t stand Alex Tabor to this day. Everything about her drives me crazy.
Somehow she is worse than Jessie Spano. Not even gonna waste my time. On the other hand, Leslie Burke started to rival Kelly in my heart. Eventually I
got on board with Zack and Kelly getting married. Maybe I should give
the College Years another try, but it's hard to beat the
original cast. Mike Rogers can't hold Richard Belding's jock strap--of this I
am sure.
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