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10 Observations from Arkansas-Ole Miss

Arkansas football has bottomed out for 2012. After a last-second 30-27 loss at the hands of the Ole Miss Rebels—the perennial whipping dogs of the SEC West—the Razorbacks truly can’t achieve a lower level of ineptitude this season. Of course, Jeff Long could always rehire John L. Smith as the next head coach.

Anyway, let’s just get right to the good part. Ten observations from the Arkansas-Ole Miss game at War Memorial Stadium in Little Rock, Arkansas:

10. The music selection still sucks. Apparently so do the speakers now. Except for “Go DJ” when Dennis Johnson was about to return a kickoff, which is almost too easy to even be considered clever, the music was predictably outdated and lifeless. Might as well play “Cotton-Eye Joe.”

9. None of the technology at WMS is ever checked before the game. I have never been to a game in Little Rock in which everything worked properly. This time the video board was glitching the entire time and, predictably—there’s that word again—there were problems with the play clock. It isn’t too much to ask from a stadium that hosts two games a year for the basics to function properly, right?

8. John L. Smith got his piss hot. He threw his cap on the ground. Yeah, yeah, big deal. I’m so jaded at this point.

7. SEC official Penn Wagers still sucks. Not like I was expecting anything different. This guy wouldn’t have qualified to be a replacement ref in the NFL, yet he continues to wreak havoc on Arkansas every year.

6. There was no life in the stadium. By the third quarter, most fans had checked out completely. I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “I can’t take anymore. Going back to the golf course to drink.” Probably the right choice. I just didn’t expect to hear it so often in the first half.

5. My face is burnt. The combination of wind and sun is lethal. The worst part is it wasn’t worth it. I could have saved quite a bit of money and my face by staying home. I won’t make this mistake again the rest of the year. I don’t think I’ll be alone either. I’m guessing maybe 40,000 show up for next week’s game against Tulsa, and that’s being kind.

4. It wasn’t my shirt after all. Before the ULM game I bought a new Arkansas polo at Dillard’s. We lost that game. Decided to wear the polo the next week—lost again. Wore it a third and fourth straight week to test a hunch—lost again and again. I didn’t wear it for the next two games, Auburn and Kentucky, and we won both. I thought I was on to something big…you know how this ends. But what if I would have worn it? My wardrobe caused the Hogs lose…

3. When the opposing team runs the same play out of the same formation three consecutive times—and gets 7-plus yards every time—you don’t have a chance. Apparently this isn’t predictable enough. I’m not convinced that we would have ever stopped that play. It felt like mercy when Freeze decided to call a different play. If you told me that LSU was forced to pick one play and run only that play for an entire game, I still think we would lose. I’m not even kidding.

2. Brandon Mitchell’s suspension seems like a dark omen. There are only rumors and circumstantial evidence of improper benefits at this point. However, I once thought the program couldn’t go any lower, but I’m beginning to think we may reach depths never seen before. It could get ugly.

1. It was over when Arkansas fans tried to start the wave after taking a 10-0 lead in the first quarter. The wave…in the first quarter. Let me repeat: Arkansas fans tried to start the wave in the first quarter. If there’s a reason to never have a game in Little Rock again, it’s this.

(Edit:) 1a. Wait! How could I forget this one: You're telling me that THIS was the best we could do after two weeks of preparation? We had two weeks to prepare for Ole Miss and not a single person thought to say, "Hey, what if Ole Miss tries to throw us off and run zone coverage instead of man like they've shown all year? Think we should have a plan for that?" Apparently not. We were going to run crossing routes for the next three years if that was how long the game lasted.
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