Happy Halloween in Three Photographs

(My wife and brother-in-law carved this. I don't touch the inside of pumpkins.)

(I'm not big on Halloween, but I enjoy autumn. We planted four mums to celebrate.)

(I made a homemade chocolate chip pizza. Too bad I can't serve this to trick-or-treaters.)

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Joe the Plumber

( Caption: So Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, better known as "Joe the Plumber", can't win an election for you. But I bet he can plunge your toliet, right?) A lot of responsibility comes with marriage, such as taking care of your wife when she’s sick like mine is right now. However, to me that’s an easy one. I can make chicken noodle soup, hot chocolate, and Jell-O. The challenging part of being married, for me, is the Tim-Allen home improvement gig. Growing up, my dad took care of all those things: changing the oil in the vehicles, patching holes in the wall, replacing chipped tiles, repairing damaged furniture, and unclogging toilets and sinks. To this day there isn’t a problem that my dad can’t solve. It’s his calling. A fixing-up vision I didn’t inherit. Last week, the toilet in our apartment started acting up, such as not flushing with full velocity and taking a minute to drain and refill. Eventually, it stopped working at all. Oh, if there isn’t anything more inhumane t...

A Progress Report for January

Sometimes I sit around writing my own obituary in my head. It’s not that I plan on dying, or that I’m that old, but I just wonder what my legacy would be. If my family had to sum up my life to this point, I’m afraid there wouldn’t be a lot to say. Let’s highlight my first twenty-six years. I hit a game-winning shot against Nettleton—truly the type of shot you dream about as a kid shooting hoops in the driveway—to help Paragould High School make it to the state tournament in 2004 (this is the highlight of my short and mostly uneventful athletic career); I won the Citizenship Award my senior year, which my mother says is way more important than any academic or athletic award; I wrote for the Paragould Daily Press for four years, and I still have people say they miss my column (but you guys can quit lying to me already); I married a girl who is way more intelligent and athletic than I ever dreamed of being; I graduated from college, twice; and I have an adorable puppy that takes up all...

Miracle on Markham II

(The video is of Colt David's hopeless, last-second field goal attempt and the celebration that ensued.) First off, thanks to my wife for buying me a ticket to the Arkansas-LSU game. (She just felt guilty because she is always leaving me for days at a time to go on basketball trips.) Next, what a game. Besides being rained on for a few hours, everything was great, from the Whole Hog Cafe BBQ to Casey Dick's last throw as a Razorback. The worst part was the contingency of LSU fans. Oh well, the purple-and-gold hush after London Crawford's catch was beautiful. Anyway, since this post is going nowhere, too bad the Hogs didn't take care of business the week before against Miss. St.; however, hopefully they can carry this win over into next year and build on it. There's plenty of talent for Bobby Petrino to exceed expectations next year: D.J. Williams, Joe Adams, Dennis Johnson, etc. Woo Pig Sooie for the football Hogs one last time. Now it's basketball season. ...

Dribbling Ink

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