My friend, let’s call him Jared, has a problem. It’s a simple problem: Jared has two girls in his life and he can’t decide which one he wants. Let’s call these two girls Kelly and Sarah. Kelly is hot and always has been. Sarah, on the other hand, has more subtle beauty and hasn’t always had that. But, lately, Jared has realized that he has feelings for both of them. In order to make the right decision, Jared told me the story. Jared fell in love with Kelly the first time he saw her on the playground in third grade. Long, flowing, blonde hair. Blue eyes. Always knew how to handle herself. In high school, of course, Kelly was captain of the cheerleading squad, Homecoming Queen, Prom Queen, Best Looking, Best Dressed, Best Smile, Best Legs, Biggest Flirt; the girl everyone wanted to date. However, Jared was the lucky boy who stole Kelly’s heart with a roll of SweeTarts on Valentine’s Day in fifth grade. Throughout middle school, junior high, high school, there was no doubt in Jared’s mind...