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10 Things I've Learned in the First Two Months of Married Life

Because I’ve been lazy lately, and there haven’t been any random strangers wandering into the apartment, it’s time to break out another list. Things I’ve learned since I got married: 1) I’ll eat cheese cake with strawberries on top (after years of avoiding this topping, making my mother prepare all food “plain” my entire life, my wife forced me to try it—it’s not so bad). 2) I’ll eat vegetables, namely corn not on the cob, which I’ve never liked before. 3) Supreme pizzas are actually quite tasteful. 4) Being “overqualified” for a job is actually Coachspeak—or maybe Workspeak, in this case—for “Yes, you have a degree, which does make you more formally educated than everyone else that applied; however, your degree is a B.A. in English and we’re not sure that it’s practical in any way to the business environment. Good luck serving up White Chocolate Mochas at Starbucks, hippie.” 5) Eating chicken wasn’t just a childhood fad of mine. It’s a lifetime commitment. 6) I think abo...

Monday Night Football: Saints-Vikings

Caption (since I don't get that option): this picture is an understatement for what's been happening to AP (28) against the Saints on MNF. Before MNF starts, I have a quick prediction: the Saints will score 14 points so fast in the first quarter that Adrian Peterson won't get more than 15 carries. 1:04 (1st Qtr): I don't even have cable and I can see the Saints swarming Peterson so far. Four carries for 5 yards. Woo. End of 1st Qtr: So besides owning AP on my last-place fantasy football team, I also have Lance Moore. Yeah, I guess his Knights-Of-The-Roundtable name isn't getting him any love tonight. One catch for 1 yard. I'm on a roll so far. Score: Vikings 10-Saints 10 Commerical break: Well, all I see is a blank virtual field. I hear a clock ticking...To think this is how I have to entertain myself. "I'm a grown man!" Start of 2nd Qtr: Brees throws an INT, setting the Vikings and Peterson up nicely for me a TD. But what's this! C...

I Hate...

1) The fact that Alex Tejada has apparently gone Rick Ankiel/Mark Wohlers/Chuck Knoblauch. 2) My fantasy football team, which is in last place (I'm blaming my co-manager/wife). 3) 12 carries for LT (only 18 last week). 4) Philip Rivers' passing. 5) Carson Palmer (because I never know when to play him). 6) Driving from Arkadelphia to Paragould. 7) Losing to my cousin on Madden 09 because I missed a field goal. 8) The MLB regular season (but it's the playoffs now, so it's OK). 9) The Miami Dolphins running the Wildcat. 10) Casey Dick holding the ball too long. 11) Job interviews. 12) USC. 13) "Manny being Manny." 14) Henderson State University. 15) Writing lists because I'm too tired to put together a coherent blog. 16) Having 0 followers. 17) Chad Ocho Cinco. 18) The fact that I have Brian Griese, Marvin Harrison, and Torry Holt on my fantasy football team--talk about washed-up has-beens. 19) That I can't quit adding to this list. 20) Eat...

The Reebok Curse

We all know about the Madden Cover Curse and the Sports Illustrated Cover Curse, so I’ll introduce you to the latest football curse: the Reebok Fantasy Files Curse. Apparently, Reebok went out of its way to feature some of its players in short videos, performing bizarre football tricks, to promote Reebok and fantasy football on NFL.com. However, little did they know that they were also cursing the players in the process, ruining their fantasy value. Let’s break down all the videos by position. Quarterback: Chris Simms (Ten): He can throw into garbage cans—even moving ones—but obviously he can’t hit an open receiver, because he just got back into the league, thanks to Vince Young’s breakdown. Just one Longhorn looking out for another. Hook ‘em Horns! On the bench. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVG6FFWykH4&feature=related Marc Bulger (StL): I’m surprised Bulger didn’t get sacked by a blitzing linebacker in this video—that’s the only time all year he’s thrown four consecutive passes ...

Reddie Or Not?

Hallelujah! And that’s not for this newest blog entry. Quick blog note: I abandoned Dribbling Ink last week because I’ve been searching desperately for a job. The honeymoon is officially over, I guess you could say. They’ve even started sending bills, ah! Also, my wife and I made a trip to Paragould this weekend and I didn’t take my laptop. Why? Because I got to watch the Razorbacks, live, moving pictures, streaming audio, Casey Dick interceptions…and now I almost understand people like “Chad” From Arkadelphia. Wait…no, I take that back. We’re still going to beat Texas; I’m just going to avoid a TV this time, because I don’t want to hear my wife’s “I Told You So” speech (Alabama predictions: 28-0, Kasa; 31-28, Jacob). (Arkansas-Alabama note: The game was so bad that, as an avid fan who hasn’t watched any sort of sports for over a month, listened to every radiocast, and defended the young Hogs to countless people [mainly my wife], I left after the first quarter to play football with my ...