Dribbling Ink

With the Razorbacks searching for their next head football coach, I’ve heard a lot of people talking about the positives and negatives of the state of Arkansas. It’s an often-cited fact that Arkansas doesn’t have a professional sports team, which makes the Razorbacks the state’s pro team by default and consequently increases the attractiveness of the football head coaching position. (I don’t think there’s any question that Arkansas would struggle to support a professional sports team—the population just isn’t large enough. I think there would be a core of rabid fans, but not enough casual fans to make a consistent profit. And professional sports teams are all about the money.) This led me to consider an important question: If the state of Arkansas had to vote on which professional sports team to adopt as its own, which team would Arkansans pick? Regional proximity was one of the most important aspects I considered, so I included how many miles each team is from Little Rock...

(Caption: OMGosh! It's a giant tomato rolling at breakneck speed! Uphill!) Lists are dangerous. Write a list and the next thing you know it's the only thing you can do. I'm not much of a list person, especially "To-Do" lists. The most important lists to me are grocery lists. Of course, as my wife can attest to, food consumes me (Nope, not the other way around: "Food consumes me" is exactly the reason that studying English is useless. Any string of words makes perfect sense). The only reason I'm saying this is because I have an insatiable desire to post another list. I just posted a list on Monday. See...it's unstoppable. It's like those killer tomatoes in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes -- they just roll over you and squash you--well, tomato you (I think I just made a vegetable joke. Dang, this blog is going downhill quickly... like those evil killer tomatoes !). Whatever. You get the point? Next, I'll be trying to write my papers...

(Caption: This may be lurking behind that greenish-yellow cloud of pollen.) March Madness. Spring break. My birthday. There isn't a reason to dislike March. In fact, there's every reason to be sad at its departure. Yup, it's that time of the year again. That time. The time we all hate. You know, that time? Oh, I mean that time. THAT time. If you're wondering, my wife would say this is how I talk about everything. But I'm not vague. IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR. So, in honor of it being that time of the year again, I'm busting out a list. The top 10 reasons, in no particular order (ignore the numbering, it just makes it easier to read), to hate/love the post-March year. Hate... 1) The greenish-yellow cloud of pollen hovering over the world -- or, at least, Arkadelphia. I'm waiting for those bat/pterodactyl-like things to burst out of the cloud like in Stephen King's novella/film The Mist . 2) Getting older. Yeah, I know: it's always ha...

Woo, if there's such a thing as a list writer, I'm in. In fact, I'm available for work right away. Maybe I lose all literary credit by writing this blog, but it's sure a lot easier to write in lists than it is in complete thoughts. Since the wife and I are going to Paragould this weekend, here's a list of the best things about going home: 1) Family. 2) Free food. 3) Mom's free, home-cooked food. 4) Four solid hours of driving. Not. 5) Cable. 5a) NFL. 5b) College football. 5c) ESPN. 5d) Nancy Grace--wait, that's my Mom's list. 6) Cousins. Yeah, I know they are family, but they are more friends. That's supposed to be a compliment, but it doesn't seem that way when I read it. Oh well. 7) Sweets. Though Kasa did make some good no-bake, oatmeal cookies this week. 8) Mom-washed laundry. Heh. 9) Living out of a suitcase. Love it. 10) I don't have to worry about not having a job. Peace. Enjoy your weekend if we don't meet here ...

Because I’ve been lazy lately, and there haven’t been any random strangers wandering into the apartment, it’s time to break out another list. Things I’ve learned since I got married: 1) I’ll eat cheese cake with strawberries on top (after years of avoiding this topping, making my mother prepare all food “plain” my entire life, my wife forced me to try it—it’s not so bad). 2) I’ll eat vegetables, namely corn not on the cob, which I’ve never liked before. 3) Supreme pizzas are actually quite tasteful. 4) Being “overqualified” for a job is actually Coachspeak—or maybe Workspeak, in this case—for “Yes, you have a degree, which does make you more formally educated than everyone else that applied; however, your degree is a B.A. in English and we’re not sure that it’s practical in any way to the business environment. Good luck serving up White Chocolate Mochas at Starbucks, hippie.” 5) Eating chicken wasn’t just a childhood fad of mine. It’s a lifetime commitment. 6) I think abo...

1) The fact that Alex Tejada has apparently gone Rick Ankiel/Mark Wohlers/Chuck Knoblauch. 2) My fantasy football team, which is in last place (I'm blaming my co-manager/wife). 3) 12 carries for LT (only 18 last week). 4) Philip Rivers' passing. 5) Carson Palmer (because I never know when to play him). 6) Driving from Arkadelphia to Paragould. 7) Losing to my cousin on Madden 09 because I missed a field goal. 8) The MLB regular season (but it's the playoffs now, so it's OK). 9) The Miami Dolphins running the Wildcat. 10) Casey Dick holding the ball too long. 11) Job interviews. 12) USC. 13) "Manny being Manny." 14) Henderson State University. 15) Writing lists because I'm too tired to put together a coherent blog. 16) Having 0 followers. 17) Chad Ocho Cinco. 18) The fact that I have Brian Griese, Marvin Harrison, and Torry Holt on my fantasy football team--talk about washed-up has-beens. 19) That I can't quit adding to this list. 20) Eat...