Arkansas-Auburn Preview

Today has been one of those uninspired writing days: Instead of writing, I’ve gone to the post office, paid all the bills, washed dishes, checked Facebook and Twitter (much like any day, I guess), read ESPN.com, checked my fantasy football team, talked to my dad on the phone, worked on a project that I will probably never complete, chased mail that I left for the mailman down the road because he broke my clothespin clip last week, and used some hair treatment that is supposed to help stop balding (not that I know for sure that I’m going bald—it’s just a fear of mine, and I will do anything to prevent it). Oh the days of pursuing creative endeavors. This is my official employment status.

Speaking of pursuing other endeavors, how about John L. Smith? Seeing as he is now $40 million in debt (I’m guessing this number will go up again at some point), it sounds like he’s pursued a lot of creative endeavors. At least BP’s creative endeavors only cost him a car and some spending money—unless you count that whole getting fired thing. At least mine are mostly free. Anyway, at 1-4 and facing a real possibility of not winning a game the rest of the year, it’s hard to come up with anything to say about the Razorbacks. Of course, that doesn’t mean that I won’t try—it should be noted that this is an EPIC BOUT, according to the University of Arkansas.

I’ve never considered betting on sports until this year. After what I saw against Jacksonville State, I knew the Razorbacks weren’t winning the SEC, finishing in the top 10, or making a BCS bowl. I still thought they’d beat ULM, which they would have if Tyler Wilson hadn’t have left the game. However, since then, I’ve seriously considered putting my life savings on Alabama, Rutgers, and Texas A&M. I’m way too poor and too conservative by nature to ever do this…but it’s just such easy money. I could have paid off my student loans already.

Am I encouraging you to bet on college football? Absolutely not. But if you already do, I’d take Auburn (-10.5) without blinking an eye. The Over/Under is 55.5, and I’m torn on this one. Arkansas’s defense is the worst I’ve ever seen, but Auburn’s offense isn’t far behind. I’d probably take the under. One of my cousins said he couldn’t bet against Arkansas because it would “be like cheating on my wife” (I tried really hard to come up with an analogy here to justify “cheating” on Arkansas, but most of them were going to get me in trouble with my wife—sorry, I failed you, dear reader). Now that’s a true fan, but he has a real job and isn’t “pursuing creative endeavors” either.

Auburn’s quarterback Kiehl Frazier (giving Arkansas cornerback Daruis Winston a run for his money as the worst 5-star recruit in the history of college football), a product of Springdale, Arkansas, has been abysmal this year. However, don’t be surprised if he looks like Cam Newton on Saturday. The Razorbacks can’t stop running quarterbacks, even ones that can’t throw. Too bad Zach Noel never got a chance to play against a defense this poor in high school—he might have gotten a scholarship to the SEC.

I’m largely uninterested in this game. However, this is a must-win for the Hogs if they want to make it to a bowl this season. Even if they win, their chance of making a bowl is slim at best. Lose this game and the season, for what it’s worth, is officially over. Then I can start preparing for basketball season. I have much higher hopes for basketball season, which I have tempered some after watching this debacle.

Prediction: My money would say Auburn 34, Arkansas 21. My heart is gonna say Arkansas 35, Auburn 31. Note: Congrats to the Red Wolves (3-3, 1-1).

Also, we’ll see how the blog writing goes this weekend. Going to Paragould for the first time in a while and my parents don’t have internet. Yes, they live in the boondocks on a farm like it is 1986. It is kind of refreshing, though.