Dribbling Ink

There are a lot of things I said I  wouldn't  do in my life that  I've  done. I said that I  wouldn't  quit exercising regularly after I stopped playing sports, that I  wouldn't  be a hack writer all of my life, and that I  wouldn't  be working a part-time job at 27 with two useless college degrees. Luckily these are things I can still change. This weekend I will do something that I can’t undo. When my wife and I go home for Christmas, we will choose one of these four puppies: Having a dog  isn't  that big of a deal. Having a dog live IN my house is a big deal for me. You see, I like a neat and clean house. Being married and cleaning up after two people has required enough adjusting. A puppy living inside will challenge the very core of inner neat freak. I’m also allergic to a plethora of things. Dogs? I have no idea—I will find out shortly. With that in mind, here’s a list of things concerning my dog that ...

I’ve long debated with myself whether  Saved by the Bell  or  Boy Meets World  is the defining show of my adolescent. This is an important question, one I will address in writing someday. However, while talking with a few friends last night, a forgotten show from my childhood entered the debate: Clarissa Explains It All. A quick synopsis of how our conversation made it to Melissa Joan Hart (xoxo). If I remember correctly, someone said, “Get it right.” For whatever reason that sparked my memory and I asked anyone if they knew where this line was from: “Now get it right or pay the price.” There was a brief pause, but it didn’t take long. (Sorry to rat you out, guys) Someone started singing from the beginning, “Camp Anawanna, we hold you in hearts…” Soon enough we were all singing along. In case you don’t have any idea what I’m talking about (and although I couldn’t blame you, I would pity your childhood), the aforementioned line is from the Nickelodeon show...

I’m having a quarter-life crisis. It’s a real thing ( I think), and it’s becoming increasingly more relevant in our society as the stages of development continue to evolve—the stage of life between 18 and 25ish is now being called “arrested adulthood” or “emerging adulthood,” just to name a couple of theories. Children no longer leave home at 18 to find a job and start a family. Instead, after graduating high school, “pre-adults” (which is a stage that actually lasts longer, until 30 or so, according Kay Hymowitx) struggle with extended periods of schooling, relationships that have become convoluted because of technology, and an economy that makes it difficult to get started and find a path out of debt. Now we start our adult lives in our mid-to-late twenties, already cynical and disillusioned with the process. By the time we find a partner and a job, we immediately begin questioning if we’ve made the right choices. We ask ourselves if we wasted the last four (or seven or more) year...

Photo by Clinton Lewis, WKU photographer Kentucky, Tennessee, and Arkansas State have something in common: all three failed to hire Bobby Petrino as their next head football coach. By the way, UK, UT, and ASU might want to glance at their football schedules for next year. Guess who shows up on all three schedules? Bobby Petrino and his Western Kentucky Hilltoppers. I have a feeling that BP will have something specially prepared for each university that spurned him. Beware of September 7, 2013, Butch Jones. WKU makes a lot of sense for BP. He spent four years coaching in Kentucky at the University of Louisville—it was where he landed his first head coaching job and where he made a name for himself nationally. BP said in the press conference that he and his wife “consider this coming home,” but we know he’s full of it and will leave WKU as soon as he can (just ask ASU fans about coming home). My guess is that BP couldn’t turn down three chances at revenge (probably more li...

(This is a story I should have shared long before now. Make sure you have some time to spare—this one is lengthy.) Two years ago my wife was accepted into a summer internship program at Arkansas Children’s Hospital. We were still living in Arkadelphia at the time, but my wife didn't want to spend the summer making the hour drive, fighting traffic to and from Little Rock. So we decided to live in Little Rock for the summer. However, in case you don’t know, it’s difficult finding a place to live for two months. Most rentals don’t have two-month leases. If they do, the price is either ridiculous or it’s a place you do not want to live. After looking for a couple of weeks, my wife found an extended stay hotel—Value Place—advertising for like $500 a month on Craigslist. A number of things. I didn't know anything about extended stay hotels—oh how I want to be naive about extended stays again, but more on this topic shortly. All I knew was that a...

Forget the election. Forget 10-14 days from now when Arkansas AD Jeff Long is supposed to announce the next head football coach of the Razorbacks. The most important revelation of 2012 came on Monday, November 26: There is going to be a Boy Meets World sequel… Girl Meets World . Two shows defined my adolescence: Saved by the Bell and Boy Meets World . The SbtB sequel has already been done, so I guess it was only a matter of time for Cory and Topanga. Of course, my heart is torn. Will it live up to the original? I don’t have children, so how will I justify watching this show? Will Shawn be on the show? (I haven’t seen him tweet anything yet—although he hosts an entertaining podcast, “Literary Disco.”) What about Eric? The little sister (I don't think I ever knew her name. Talk about a storyline that was underdeveloped; SbtB  had nothing on sister Matthews)? Here’s what we know—yes, I actually did some research. Cory and Topanga will be back as parents. Their...

I’ve spent my life wasting things. Part of this is because I’ve always lacked the ability to focus on a single purpose. (Forgive me for the high school examples, but they are the easiest.) When I played football, I wanted to be playing basketball—so I quit football. When I was playing basketball, I was thinking about girls—so I was always distracted. When I was dating a girl, I was thinking about another girl—so I made a mess of a lot of relationships. But I’ve always justified my decisions because they eventually work out well enough. After all, I watched my cousin get his femur snapped in half playing football a couple of years later, I was an All-State basketball player and our team made the state tournament, and I married a beautiful, intelligent, driven woman (who has helped me realize and correct my weaknesses, for which I am grateful). My decisions couldn’t have been too bad, right? However, now I wish that I would have never quit football, that I had actually given ...

(My wife and brother-in-law carved this. I don't touch the inside of pumpkins.) (I'm not big on Halloween, but I enjoy autumn. We planted four  mums to celebrate.) (I made a homemade chocolate chip pizza. Too bad I can't serve this to trick-or-treaters.)

Somehow I got behind and missed the first two episodes of The Walking Dead Season 3. Last night I decided to catch up and watch the newest episode, “Walk with Me.” Like everyone else in the world, I’m glad the crew finally left Hershel’s farm, the prison looks promising (although it could turn into The Farm 2.0), and it’s nice to see a little more action after last season bogged down—although I am a fan of an in-depth exploration of the philosophical questions raised by a zombie apocalypse. Episode 3 summary (not really any spoilers): A new villain, The Governor, and a new location, Woodburry, are introduced. Both are hiding something that the audience will learn in time. Andrea is into The Governor, Michonne just wants her weapons back, and Merle finally makes his long foreshadowed return. There are a few more details, but this covers the essentials. It was kind of a boring episode that was essential for setting up the rest of the season. However, instead of offering an a...

Arkansas football has bottomed out for 2012. After a last-second 30-27 loss at the hands of the Ole Miss Rebels—the perennial whipping dogs of the SEC West—the Razorbacks truly can’t achieve a lower level of ineptitude this season. Of course, Jeff Long could always rehire John L. Smith as the next head coach. Anyway, let’s just get right to the good part. Ten observations from the Arkansas-Ole Miss game at War Memorial Stadium in Little Rock, Arkansas: 10. The music selection still sucks. Apparently so do the speakers now. Except for “Go DJ” when Dennis Johnson was about to return a kickoff, which is almost too easy to even be considered clever, the music was predictably outdated and lifeless. Might as well play “Cotton-Eye Joe.” 9. None of the technology at WMS is ever checked before the game. I have never been to a game in Little Rock in which everything worked properly. This time the video board was glitching the entire time and, predictably—there’s that word again—there...

Bye weeks are fickle monsters. A week that should be neutral in theory never quite works that way. The bye week always creates collateral damage. Sometimes the fallout helps your team and sometimes it hurts your team. That’s because college football is dynamic—everything changes from week to week, which is why the BCS will continue to thrive no matter how many playoff games are added at the end of the season. Bye weeks also provide clarity. When the hectic race from fall camp to the beginning of the season to winning or losing games finally reaches a respite, players, coaches, and fans get a chance to reflect on months of preparation, expectations, and execution. Thus, after a week of washing my hands of Arkansas’s dreadful start to 2012 and watching other SEC teams more closely, I had an epiphany: Arka-Tenne-Burn-y. What is Arka-Tenne-Burn-y? Exactly what it sounds like: the shared state of four programs—Arkansas, Tennessee, Auburn, and Kentucky—that aren’t as different as their f...