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Attack of the Killer Lists: The Top Ten Habits to Break this Summer

(Caption: OMGosh! It's a giant tomato rolling at breakneck speed! Uphill!)

Lists are dangerous. Write a list and the next thing you know it's the only thing you can do. I'm not much of a list person, especially "To-Do" lists. The most important lists to me are grocery lists. Of course, as my wife can attest to, food consumes me (Nope, not the other way around: "Food consumes me" is exactly the reason that studying English is useless. Any string of words makes perfect sense).

The only reason I'm saying this is because I have an insatiable desire to post another list. I just posted a list on Monday. See...it's unstoppable. It's like those killer tomatoes in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes -- they just roll over you and squash you--well, tomato you (I think I just made a vegetable joke. Dang, this blog is going downhill quickly...like those evil killer tomatoes!). Whatever. You get the point?

Next, I'll be trying to write my papers about the American West and literary criticism in list form. 1. Clint Eastwood is a boss (yes, he is actually relevant to my paper) 2. It's amazing that he can hit someone with a revolver from 200 yards away without aiming...blah, blah, blah -- like singers and rappers sometimes do, it's easier just to add a blah, blah, blah when you can't think of anything else to write. So blah. I'm not sure my blahs are having the same aesthetic effect, though.

Back to the lists (not the future -- these stupid pop culture references that no one cares about are getting out of control).List. List. List. I am now going to post the list (refer to the title). Oh, I know from working with college students every day that you've already either already forgotten the title, are too lazy to scroll back up, or just don't care.

The Top Ten Habits to Break this Summer. Of course, most of these will apply more to me than you, which means you can probably quit reading at this point. But feel free to take my advice or give your own.

10. Trying to steam clothes that I am wearing. Yeah, you probably don't do this; you probably don't even have a clothes steamer. Most people just use the iron or the dryer. Personally, I prefer the steamer; however, I've burnt myself numerous times trying for a quick press.

9. I

8. COULDN'T

7. THINK

6. OF ANYTHING ELSE.

(That could probably win some poetry awards. Note: Just to clear up this statement, I am not bashing poetry in any way. In fact, I can't tell you how much I admire someone who can write effective poetry. I was commenting more on all the crappy poetry available on the internet.)

5. Biting my fingernails. I blame my mother...and LeBron James. Both are habitual finger-biters.

4. Staying up too late. I haven't gone to bed before midnight (usually quite a bit after) in like three years. I just need to tweak my schedule so I can be more productive during the day and not be asleep until like 1:00. Sadly, I usually only stay up even later during the summer.

3. Slothfulness -- or, not exercising. I am getting to that point in my life where exercising is no longer an option, it's a must. The pounds are a lot harder to keep off these days, and I'm losing my athletic frame.

2. Procrastinating. It would be impossible for me to change this habit during the school year. Once I start off behind, I never catch up. That's just how college works. It's a proven fact. Trust me. I've been in school for like 20 years now.

1. Blogging. That is, I need to write more fiction, less crap.

Comments

Debbie Lamedman said…
I'm definitely with you on items 1 through 4. I certainly need to write less crap. And go to bed earlier. And all that other stuff you mentioned! I wish us both good luck!
Maverick said…
hey! just stumbled into this. nice narration style. quite organised (talking about the writing style). i definitely agree with the procrastinating habit.its the one thatsmost difficult to break away from.
Maverick said…
just stumbled into your blog. quite organised writing style of yours is good! And..i totally agree with the procrastination part of the post. its the most difficult to break away from. awesome read!

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