Skip to main content

The Fish with No Name

I have so much homework to do that the fact I've even typed this much (pause, consider just how little I have typed to this point) is ludicrous. Then consider that I am going to talk about my fish, and all hope for my future (a M.L.A. degree) is lost.

Look, I don't have time to charge my camera and take a picture right now, but I will later; however, I just don't understand my new fish. He is anorexic. Seriously. I've never seen him eat one food pellet. Periodically I drop a few pellets into his bowl just like the food container recommends. Every time, he goes through the same routine. He swims up to smell (do fish smell?)/ consider the food, pauses for a seconds, and swims away.

Scribbles, my last fish, would eat every pellet I dropped into his bowl. I mean, I could drop like six in there and he would eat every one of them. Of course, the container only recommends two to three pellets every few days. I think Scribbles might have died of gluttony.

My new fish doesn't have a name, but I'm not sure he is going to live long enough for it to matter.

Most. Pointless. Blog. Ever.

Anyway, back to the fishbowl of literary criticism.

Comments

Lynne Walker said…
Pointless, but funny. Enjoy your blog and am following it.

Popular posts from this blog

Miracle on Markham II

(The video is of Colt David's hopeless, last-second field goal attempt and the celebration that ensued.) First off, thanks to my wife for buying me a ticket to the Arkansas-LSU game. (She just felt guilty because she is always leaving me for days at a time to go on basketball trips.) Next, what a game. Besides being rained on for a few hours, everything was great, from the Whole Hog Cafe BBQ to Casey Dick's last throw as a Razorback. The worst part was the contingency of LSU fans. Oh well, the purple-and-gold hush after London Crawford's catch was beautiful. Anyway, since this post is going nowhere, too bad the Hogs didn't take care of business the week before against Miss. St.; however, hopefully they can carry this win over into next year and build on it. There's plenty of talent for Bobby Petrino to exceed expectations next year: D.J. Williams, Joe Adams, Dennis Johnson, etc. Woo Pig Sooie for the football Hogs one last time. Now it's basketball season. ...

A Date with Al Davis...Or, My Inability to Get a Job

Henderson State University is the Oakland Raiders of American colleges, and I’m their Lane Kiffin. Actually, the Reddies just turned me down for a job—again—which makes this a poor analogy. But I don’t care, because obviously a B.A. in English doesn’t qualify you to examine documents—or form sound analogies, in my case. At least I made it to the face-to-face interview this time. HSU rejection notice: Graduate school applications are due soon; I’ll keep you posted. Anyway, the interviews have been pouring in this week, which is a positive after nearly a month of applying to three jobs every day without a response. So, I didn’t have too much time to be depressed about the HSU job (which, honestly, I really wanted because graduate school would have cost me one-tenth of regular tuition), because I had an interview with the AT&T Call Center in Little Rock on Thursday. However, talking on the phone for a mandatory seven and a half hours a day isn’t exactly what I’m looking for in a job. ...

Joe the Plumber

( Caption: So Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, better known as "Joe the Plumber", can't win an election for you. But I bet he can plunge your toliet, right?) A lot of responsibility comes with marriage, such as taking care of your wife when she’s sick like mine is right now. However, to me that’s an easy one. I can make chicken noodle soup, hot chocolate, and Jell-O. The challenging part of being married, for me, is the Tim-Allen home improvement gig. Growing up, my dad took care of all those things: changing the oil in the vehicles, patching holes in the wall, replacing chipped tiles, repairing damaged furniture, and unclogging toilets and sinks. To this day there isn’t a problem that my dad can’t solve. It’s his calling. A fixing-up vision I didn’t inherit. Last week, the toilet in our apartment started acting up, such as not flushing with full velocity and taking a minute to drain and refill. Eventually, it stopped working at all. Oh, if there isn’t anything more inhumane t...