So, I am at a gymnastics meet at the Jack Stephens Center in Little Rock—this isn’t the first line of any fiction, unfortunately, but it is as creative as this post may get. Sorry. First observation from my first gymnastics meet ever: three year old boys that can talk and run don’t need pacifiers. I’m just saying.
On that note, I’ll switch to the little female robots doing gymnastics. My wife told me that some of the gyms her girls compete against practice twenty hours a week and are forced to have curly ponytails, even if it means wearing a hair piece. My wife’s team only practices nine hours a week, and they have ponytails, pigtails, and sheeptails (maybe I made up the last one).
Well, this is a great start to spring break. After this my wife is going to Cali and I’m going to Paragould. Even my dad is in Cali. Anyway, back to me, because this is my blog. I have so much work to do over break, but I am excited about my American West paper. I am writing about spaghetti westerns and the Western myth in film. Any reason to watch Clint Eastwood be a boss, I think.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to type a blog on a phone? Maybe if you’re one of those people who Facebook, email, and live through your phone it’s simple. But for simpletons like me, it’s pretty rough. Oh, before I forget, I had to pay $12 to get into this meet. Geez. I know this is an elitist sport, but some of us poor people are forced to come and
The drama in ABC’s Make It Or Break It doesn’t compare to this. I mean, this beats the NCAA Tournament any day. Little robots flipping around with prudish-looking old women sneering and critiquing their every move. This is where amazing happens.
Oh, a near miss as one of my wife’s girl’s hair comes unpigtailed (undoubtedly a word). I did get a pretty red smiley face for my money. It’s harder to edit on the phone or I would move this to its proper spot. Oh well. Also, the woman taking money tried to make me pay for a stray child who was wandering out front aimlessly. No thanks, woman. Not my child.
My bachelor cousin should try coming to a meet—maybe Kasa can introduce him to the legion of young female coaches. Of course, he is pretty lame and unmotivated by my suggestions usually. He doesn’t read my blog—unmotivated by me like I said—so I could say he has webbed feet or anything I wanted. Or call him Edwin.
When you are bigger than your coach and most of all the females in the gym, you probably are too old to compete with girls that are seven and eight. Not to be killing anyone’s confidence—everybody gets a trophy in America. Go ahead un-athletic girl, you rock. I bet Bela Karolyi didn’t give medals to all his girls. He just rammed their heads into phones if they ate too much, according to GQ’s story about the most despicable coaches ever.
A little girl in glasses just rocked the floor routine. Take that, four-eye stereotype and too-old girl. I am going to read for a bit before I say anything un-American, like not every one needs, deserves, or wants government-r
Heh. My phone cut me off before I could finish my thought. Either there are cap and trade type restrictions on the characters on my phone or the government hacked it and shut me down. Figures. Next I will have to pay the government to send an email or drink a soda; I’ll probably get shot for being too radically conservative on my non-political blog as well. I will quit there. I don’t know why I am so angry today.
I am jealous of these two kids and their Nintendo DS’s. They need to watch out or I might try to buy one from the on the discount. I still have the money leftover from the twenty I broke for admission.
(Insert a four hour break for eating and shopping.)
I lost the flow with that long break. Until next time. I still might post some fiction tomorrow, though. Or later tonight. Big thanks to my cousin for hooking me up with some internet at UALR.
My wife tried to make this more like an episode of Make It Or Break It by forgetting the music for one of her girl's floor routine. Needless to say, we all panicked, blamed each other, and eventually solved the problem with a little creativity. Actually, they just bummed some music from another gym.
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