There are many advantages to living in Ouachita Baptist University’s apartments, like the fact that my wife’s scholarship leaves us with only a $93 housing bill at the end of the month (of course, without a job that still means giving up cable [see yesterday’s blog]), we conserve gas without having to commute, and OBU provides free internet (like hotels provide “free breakfast”). OBU even provides clothes washers and dryers. That is, if you don’t mind dodging traffic in the parking lot, sprinting in the rain, or trudging through mud, all while toting your dirty underwear over your shoulder to the laundry room.
Even then, say you defy all odds and reach the laundry room as clean as you left, your clothes won’t. The laundry room/outhouse/dungeon is last place you’d want to wash clothes that you actually have to wear. There’s usually an inch of water on the floor—I haven’t decided if it’s from improper use of the washing machines or sewage backup— and all the apparatuses (two washers, two dyers, and a table) are covered in at least ten years of grime.
The most dangerous part of the laundry room is the exchange. Back home, I haphazardly tossed clothes from the washer to the dryer because it was safe (like Daunte Culpepper throwing passes to Randy Moss in triple-coverage in Minnesota, circa 2004). In the OBU laundry room/outhouse/dungeon, such inaccuracies result in instant sterilization or cremation (like Culpepper’s career without Moss).
But, hey, if they put a TV in the laundry room/outhouse/dungeon with NFL Sunday Ticket or ESPN Gameplan on it, I’d be happy to brave the perils and do laundry more than once a week.
Even then, say you defy all odds and reach the laundry room as clean as you left, your clothes won’t. The laundry room/outhouse/dungeon is last place you’d want to wash clothes that you actually have to wear. There’s usually an inch of water on the floor—I haven’t decided if it’s from improper use of the washing machines or sewage backup— and all the apparatuses (two washers, two dyers, and a table) are covered in at least ten years of grime.
The most dangerous part of the laundry room is the exchange. Back home, I haphazardly tossed clothes from the washer to the dryer because it was safe (like Daunte Culpepper throwing passes to Randy Moss in triple-coverage in Minnesota, circa 2004). In the OBU laundry room/outhouse/dungeon, such inaccuracies result in instant sterilization or cremation (like Culpepper’s career without Moss).
But, hey, if they put a TV in the laundry room/outhouse/dungeon with NFL Sunday Ticket or ESPN Gameplan on it, I’d be happy to brave the perils and do laundry more than once a week.
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