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The Reebok Curse

We all know about the Madden Cover Curse and the Sports Illustrated Cover Curse, so I’ll introduce you to the latest football curse: the Reebok Fantasy Files Curse. Apparently, Reebok went out of its way to feature some of its players in short videos, performing bizarre football tricks, to promote Reebok and fantasy football on NFL.com. However, little did they know that they were also cursing the players in the process, ruining their fantasy value. Let’s break down all the videos by position.

Quarterback:
Chris Simms (Ten): He can throw into garbage cans—even moving ones—but obviously he can’t hit an open receiver, because he just got back into the league, thanks to Vince Young’s breakdown. Just one Longhorn looking out for another. Hook ‘em Horns! On the bench.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVG6FFWykH4&feature=related


Marc Bulger (StL): I’m surprised Bulger didn’t get sacked by a blitzing linebacker in this video—that’s the only time all year he’s thrown four consecutive passes standing upright. To add insult to injury, Bulger has been benched in favor of Trent Green, as if that will fix the Rams’ problems.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjViNFZgpgw&feature=related

Jason Campbell (Was): Actually one of the few bright spots for Reebok, Campbell is tenth in fantasy scoring among quarterbacks. The third-year quarterback from Auburn has thrown for nearly 650 yards and four scores while avoiding a single turnover.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoYbevFvWg8&feature=related

Wide Receiver: If any one position has been affected the most by this curse, it’s been the wide receivers. Three of last years elite receivers have flopped in 2008 after their superhuman feats in their respective Reebok spots. Andre Johnson, Braylon Edwards, and Marques Colston have combined for 230 yards and zero scores.

Andre Johnson (Hou): 141 yards.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZsL_Jjx_E8&feature=related

Braylon Edwards (Cle): 73 yards.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrk9I1jhJ9U&feature=related

Marques Colston (No): 26 yards.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYeQbcSQ8CU&feature=related

Chris Chambers (SD): Then there’s Chambers, whose 154 yards and four touchdowns dwarves the combined performances of the three previous guys. I get the video now: Chambers is catching a football each for Johnson, Edwards, and Colston, because they’ve combined for more drops than catches this year.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5QuqtYF5Ag

Running Back:
Laurence Maroney (NE): Fifty-three running backs have run for more yards this year than Maroney. There’s not a lot more to say. Oh, yeah, Tom Brady is out for the year. The Dolphins just blasted the Patriots, too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F2d7M4Lbmw&NR=1

Tight End:
Chris Cooley (Was): After only catching one pass for seven yards in week one, Cooley has turned in back-to-back 72-yard games; however, he still hasn’t found the end zone, which is where a tight end has to feast if he’s going to be an elite fantasy player.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWztdK2ZeLM

Kicker:
Mason Crosby (GB): After leading the league in scoring last year as a rookie, Crosby’s encore performance has been solid: 6-of-7 on FGs and good on all 10 PATs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sI7vFv9REI&feature=related

Mike Nugent (NYJ): Brett Favre hasn’t fixed everything for the J-E-T-S. Nugent’s missed the last two games with a thigh injury after missing his only field goal attempt of the year in week one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFPKQaXAdL4&feature=related

Neil Rackers (Ari): With the Warner taking his skills back a decade, Rackers hasn’t had much work with the Cardinals this year. He’s only attempted six field goals on the year—four of which came in week one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZghatdM8mo&NR=1

David Akers (Phi): Akers has seen plenty of work with the rejuvenated Eagles’ offense, thanks to Donovan McNabb and Brian Westbrook being healthy (well, at least for three weeks). The kicker has connected on all six field goals and all 10 PATs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meZZPDVJOog&feature=related

Losers: If the first videos weren’t bad enough, check out Sean Driggers' and Tyler O’Quin’s outtakes. These guys make me proud to be from Arkansas. Where’s “Chad” From Arkadelphia when you need him to tell you somebody sucks.

Sean Driggers: Driggers mumbles something about hand on the ground, ball, hands, something, all the while barely catching passes lobbed his way. Apparently this guy thought he was going to be a star for Harding University in Searcy. Right…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvNo6ZEOqsM&feature=related

Tyler O’Quin (HU): At least this guy’s actually on Harding’s roster. But, at nearly 200 pounds and from the look of his gut in this video, I think he should think about putting his hand on the ground.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rgOT4cGpLc&feature=related
http://www.hardingsports.com/roster.asp?playerid=794&sport=8

Here's a real Harding stud:
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