Dribbling Ink

Honestly, maybe I should take up a job as a Ghostbuster. After graduating college and finally getting away from T he Paragould Daily Press --or The Daily Mess , as it's more affectionately known to its readers--I swore to myself that I would never work in the newspaper business again. Heh. Well, you see, desperate times make you do desperate things. I've been looking for a job for over two months, which has included rounds and rounds of interviews and assessments. Therefore, when I saw an opening for a job at The Gurdon Times , I had no choice but to apply. Of course the call came for the interview--heck, I have years of experience, awards, accolades, and an applicable degree. What could go wrong? Besides working for $7.50 an hour at a weekly newspaper in Gurdon, Arkansas. Needless to say, the interview went well--in fact, I'm convinced I know more about the newspaper business than the woman who interviewed me. But let's jump to the point: I didn't get the job. The...

I figured my wife would appreciate this picture. In case some people get worried, this picture was taken at Pumpkin Hollow last year. I just always found it creepy because she looks so pale--and that smile.

Woo, if there's such a thing as a list writer, I'm in. In fact, I'm available for work right away. Maybe I lose all literary credit by writing this blog, but it's sure a lot easier to write in lists than it is in complete thoughts. Since the wife and I are going to Paragould this weekend, here's a list of the best things about going home: 1) Family. 2) Free food. 3) Mom's free, home-cooked food. 4) Four solid hours of driving. Not. 5) Cable. 5a) NFL. 5b) College football. 5c) ESPN. 5d) Nancy Grace--wait, that's my Mom's list. 6) Cousins. Yeah, I know they are family, but they are more friends. That's supposed to be a compliment, but it doesn't seem that way when I read it. Oh well. 7) Sweets. Though Kasa did make some good no-bake, oatmeal cookies this week. 8) Mom-washed laundry. Heh. 9) Living out of a suitcase. Love it. 10) I don't have to worry about not having a job. Peace. Enjoy your weekend if we don't meet here ...

Because I’ve been lazy lately, and there haven’t been any random strangers wandering into the apartment, it’s time to break out another list. Things I’ve learned since I got married: 1) I’ll eat cheese cake with strawberries on top (after years of avoiding this topping, making my mother prepare all food “plain” my entire life, my wife forced me to try it—it’s not so bad). 2) I’ll eat vegetables, namely corn not on the cob, which I’ve never liked before. 3) Supreme pizzas are actually quite tasteful. 4) Being “overqualified” for a job is actually Coachspeak—or maybe Workspeak, in this case—for “Yes, you have a degree, which does make you more formally educated than everyone else that applied; however, your degree is a B.A. in English and we’re not sure that it’s practical in any way to the business environment. Good luck serving up White Chocolate Mochas at Starbucks, hippie.” 5) Eating chicken wasn’t just a childhood fad of mine. It’s a lifetime commitment. 6) I think abo...

That about sums up how I've felt lately.

On Thursday, I’ve been married for two months. See, I am a good husband; I remembered my anniversary—I bet my wife isn’t even aware of this, since she’s always busy with stupid science study groups (that’s an alliteration for my literary friends), which is where I’m at right now. Woo…anyway. In those two months since we’ve moved to Arkadelphia—for those familiar with my former hometown, think Goobertown on steroids, really, really cheap steroids—we’ve received exactly two visits from the outside world: my parents and her parents. My friends and cousins have abandoned me, but who can blame them? I wouldn’t drive four hours either for an old married couple, a rundown apartment, and some critters. However, we finally welcomed our first visitor this week. Well, we didn’t exactly welcome him, but we did have a foreign mass enter our domain. Here’s how the visit went down. I was playing Madden 09 on Wii online and my wife was doing homework on the couch. It’s about ten o’clock, I'm mindi...

Caption (since I don't get that option): this picture is an understatement for what's been happening to AP (28) against the Saints on MNF. Before MNF starts, I have a quick prediction: the Saints will score 14 points so fast in the first quarter that Adrian Peterson won't get more than 15 carries. 1:04 (1st Qtr): I don't even have cable and I can see the Saints swarming Peterson so far. Four carries for 5 yards. Woo. End of 1st Qtr: So besides owning AP on my last-place fantasy football team, I also have Lance Moore. Yeah, I guess his Knights-Of-The-Roundtable name isn't getting him any love tonight. One catch for 1 yard. I'm on a roll so far. Score: Vikings 10-Saints 10 Commerical break: Well, all I see is a blank virtual field. I hear a clock ticking...To think this is how I have to entertain myself. "I'm a grown man!" Start of 2nd Qtr: Brees throws an INT, setting the Vikings and Peterson up nicely for me a TD. But what's this! C...

1) The fact that Alex Tejada has apparently gone Rick Ankiel/Mark Wohlers/Chuck Knoblauch. 2) My fantasy football team, which is in last place (I'm blaming my co-manager/wife). 3) 12 carries for LT (only 18 last week). 4) Philip Rivers' passing. 5) Carson Palmer (because I never know when to play him). 6) Driving from Arkadelphia to Paragould. 7) Losing to my cousin on Madden 09 because I missed a field goal. 8) The MLB regular season (but it's the playoffs now, so it's OK). 9) The Miami Dolphins running the Wildcat. 10) Casey Dick holding the ball too long. 11) Job interviews. 12) USC. 13) "Manny being Manny." 14) Henderson State University. 15) Writing lists because I'm too tired to put together a coherent blog. 16) Having 0 followers. 17) Chad Ocho Cinco. 18) The fact that I have Brian Griese, Marvin Harrison, and Torry Holt on my fantasy football team--talk about washed-up has-beens. 19) That I can't quit adding to this list. 20) Eat...

Henderson State University is the Oakland Raiders of American colleges, and I’m their Lane Kiffin. Actually, the Reddies just turned me down for a job—again—which makes this a poor analogy. But I don’t care, because obviously a B.A. in English doesn’t qualify you to examine documents—or form sound analogies, in my case. At least I made it to the face-to-face interview this time. HSU rejection notice: Graduate school applications are due soon; I’ll keep you posted. Anyway, the interviews have been pouring in this week, which is a positive after nearly a month of applying to three jobs every day without a response. So, I didn’t have too much time to be depressed about the HSU job (which, honestly, I really wanted because graduate school would have cost me one-tenth of regular tuition), because I had an interview with the AT&T Call Center in Little Rock on Thursday. However, talking on the phone for a mandatory seven and a half hours a day isn’t exactly what I’m looking for in a job. ...